Thirty-four Years to Go, But Who’s Counting?

I am reprinting this in honor of a friend who recently celebrated her 40th birthday.

Thirty-four years. That’s approximately how long I may have left, according to a friend. Thirty-four. The “average” man who lives to be my age can expect thirty-four years more. Since I am neither more nor less than average in most categories, why should I be different in this?

Thirty-four. Depending on your situation that may sound like a lot, or a little. To me, it’s not much. Less than a “watch in the night” according to scripture. A “little day” according to a Jewish prayer. A raindrop falling ever more swiftly toward the sea.

It doesn’t help to be reminded of what other people have done in less than thirty years. Mozart, for example. Or the young Einstein. Or Jesus. I know what I haven’t done with more. I have more questions now than answers, more longing than satisfactions.

It’s not that I want to be president or pope. I don’t envy Bill Gates. I don’t want to trade places with Donald Trump. 

But Jimmy Carter has my attention. And Desmond Tutu. And the Dalai Lama.

I don’t want to be the mayor of a major city, but I’d like to help a decent mayor create a humane community. I can’t imagine being Billy Graham or Gardner Taylor, yet I’d like to speak a few original words that console or uplift. I do not aspire to the pulpit of a “tall steeple” church; I do hope that congregations I serve will come more closely to resemble the Beloved Community for which, I think, Christ lived and died.

As I face into what may be the last third of my life, this is what I know: Wisdom and wealth are not synonymous. Wisdom and poverty are not either. Power is neither evil nor good, but necessary for the realization of either. Silence contains more truth than many words. Sharing sorrow lessens it. Nice is not bad. Deep peace is possible in the midst of great suffering, yet a serene appearance may hide the deepest pain. Soul is real, but “real” itself is puzzling. Not one of us will be truly happy until all of us are truly happy. Grace is everywhere.

It isn’t much, but it’s a beginning. After all these years, it is  

© Budd Friend-Jones

Faith in a Minor Key, 2010

Posted: July 14, 2023