Older

A young friend recently asked me about aging. Here is my response.

Yes, I am older.

It sometimes takes me longer to get my words right. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just make do. Sometimes I don't care.

Reading has become more difficult. I don't always see the words clearly on the

page. Thank God for larger computer fonts. Often I only partially hear conversations in which I'm supposed to be involved; I improvise (to myself) what I think is being said. Often I'm right, but sometimes my response is off base. This can be embarrassing, or funny. Or sad.

Because I don't hear well, sometimes I talk over others. If - no, when! - I've done this to you, I'm sorry. Sometimes I lag behind in conversations, especially with younger fast-talking, fast-thinking folks. My responses seem inane to them. Often they just smile.

Sometimes I'd rather not talk at all. "Don't speak unless you can improve upon silence,” wrote LaoTzu. He also said, "Those who know, don't say, and those who say, don"t know." I'm no LaoTzu.

I can still write but it takes longer to get the words right, or the right words. Do I repeat myself? My public speaking hasn't suffered as much as my private conversations. I have a job I love, but meetings sometimes annoy more than they used to. I still work actively for diversity and inclusion. We have our daily devotions. I study Spanish for at least an hour every day.

My long-suffering wife listens to my endless critiques of TV commercials - I'm always finding subtexts and metamessages about race, class, ability, etc. I also correct newscasters' grammar all the time. It's got to be difficult, I know, this talking 24-7 without stop. But I wish for more civility and less adrenaline in my life now, and certainly in my interactions with the tele.

Do I sound more curmudgeonly now? I kinda like that too. Things that once were matters of life and death no longer capture my energy. I like to sit. I nap. I walk. I ride a bike. I companion the moon. Still, occasionally, I rise early to welcome the sun.

I like to dine on real china, occasionally. A cup of good coffee makes me very happy. Ditto a cup of tea. (It doesn't take much anymore, does it?) I still want to look like the Adonis I never was. I love YouTube, TedTalks and - sometimes - Zoom conversations.

One of my greatest joys is watching intelligent, competent, energetic, articulate young leaders in a wide variety of professions. This gives me hope. I don't think I ever will be 'set in my ways'. My family disagrees.

If I am to be the scout on the road before you, then here is my report. There is more poetry and music out here, and so much more beauty.